a change for the better

Today my fortune cookie read “a change for the better”.

I recently came back from my spring break on the Catalina islands on a retreat with InterVarsity called Connections. PHE-NO-MEN-AL!!!1 We manuscripted the Word like we were on steroids. Six hours, intermittently throughout the day, of God’s holy Gospel! I thought I knew Jesus, but I really know him now, well only half of him because we only covered half of the book of Mark. I don’t even know where to begin. I’m still trying to absorb and organize everything in a cohesive manner of the week’s delving into the Word. More posts to come.

This past week has been a change for the better indeed. I’ve decided, with much turmoil and a good God-smack (not the band) in the head, to reapply for the Justice Team position for next year and possibly a coordinator position within Ambassadors if I get the position. With the help of the Almighty and the encouragement of the newfound friends I made, I’m ready to fan this flame into a raging inferno for justice again!

Things are going well for Antoinette. This week looks busy (3 exams and OCHEM BEING ONE OF THEM AAUUUUGH), but I am looking forward to see Joline and Vivian soon to share my experiences in the Word with them.

God is oh-so good.

aauuuugh

I donated blood today while on my period. I’m really tired and I crave cottage cheese.

Heard news about Kelly. She’s back at Pacific! Yay! I hope she’s here to stay.

Joline, I love how all your posts are centered on your relationship with God even if they are a bit of a downer. I wish I could have that midnset when I blog. This school year, God seems really distant and that’s only because I’ve shoved Him into the back of my mind. Whenever I participate in Bible study, I just go through the motions without really gaining anything from Scripture. Leadership in PCF is somewhat of a struggle and I focus more on what I feel is expected of me from my peers than wanting to serve the Lord wholeheartedly. What’s wrong with me? I think I’ve just been selfish lately. Selfish in that I only want to do things that make me happy rather than pleasing the Lord. Lord, please fill me with your love again and remind me why I chose you to be my Savior.

unfixable

Over the past weekend, a car accident involving two Pacific pre-pharms and a Pacfic alumnus occured. The Pacific alum died from a fatal head injury.

The article can be read here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28969827/#storyContinued

An email was sent to all students informing us about this tragic accident. I think the most shocking news I discovered was that the driver and her friend were in my freshman orientation group from this past summer! I even had bio lab with one of them. The incident was also on the news calling the driver a murderer and she was convicted of vehicle manslaughter. Knowing this girl personally, she is in no way a murderer. It’s unfortunate that the pharmacist died, but I feel even more pity for Kelly because she came out unscathed knowing that she injured her a friend and killed someone. Purvi was telling me how Kelly would call her often for chemistry help or if she could check over her chemisry problem sets. Finding a mistake in your stoichiometry is easily fixable, but a life is something you can’t take back unless you’re God. I doubt she is coming back to school, but I am praying for everyone’s, involved, well being.

fifth of a century

I AM YOUTHFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

artist

You Should Be an Artist

You are incredibly creative, spontaneous, and unique. No one can guess what you’re going to do next, but it’s usually something amazing. You can’t deal with routine, rules, or structure. You’re easily bored. As long as you are able to innovate and break the rules, you are extremely successful. You do best when you: - Can work by yourself - Can express your personality in your work You would also be a good journalist or actor.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

inner monster

Your Cute Monster Says Your Inner Demon is Pride

You have enthusiasm for almost everything you do in life. You have a super playful attitude. You are curious about the world, and you love to learn. You rather figure people out than rush to judge them. You can’t help but have a big head sometimes. People think you’re cute because you’re adventurous. You always bring some fun, which is super charming.

The Cute Monster Test

progress

Goodness gracious. Two consecutive posts! This is amazing. Joline would be proud of me.

I’m slowly getting into the groove of becoming more independent. A few days ago, I deposited a few of my paychecks in the bank and this morning I called Carepoint Pharmacy for some volunteering opportunities. Also, I talked to my parents about making the payments for school and the bank on my own. All I need now are the office numbers to my doctor and dentist to schedule my own appointments. The feelings of liberation and burden weigh on my shoulders. It’s a strange duality that I’m learning to adapt to.

Played a rhyming game with Kyle last night. I suck at poetry, haha. Anyway, Jasmine and I went to Borders on New Years. I’m not surprised that our favorite section in the store is the young readers corner. Y’know, Boxcar Children, Nancy Drew (DIE!), Hardy Boys, Captain Underpants, just to name a few. I picked up Hans Christian Andersen’s Fairytales. The book is hardcover and has nice black and white illustrations inside. There’s even a book tassel to use as a bookmark. I hope this way, I can stay young at heart while I grow old.

I should make it a new year resolution to update my blog more, haha. OoOooOooOh man, so many things have happened within the past few months. Thinking about it sends my brain on one of those mind trips where everything is rainbow colored and…psychadelic. No, I am not taking or on any drugs.

The latter half of 2008 had been particularly spiritually absent. Even though  I was and still am in leadership within my fellowship, I found it hard to make that connection with God when there where certain topics that I disagreed with my IV leader. God has been taking away the anger and bitterness slowly though. Also, had a religious conversation with my dad that went awry the other night. We continued a bit today. I realized, all he wanted to talk about was Buddhism and how vastly different and amazing it is compared to Christianity. Granted, that’s all fine and dandy, because I respect his beliefs and opinions. I grew up with Buddhism and Christianity in one hand and the other. I even took classes on Buddhism to understand it more, so I feel that I have a somewhat basic understanding of the history, spread, and teachings of Buddhism. But he had some misconceptions about Christianity and I wanted the opportunity to explain to him what Christianity’s true message is all about. I didn’t even get a chance to. Dad kept retorting, “Well, in Buddhism this…and that…” Yes Dad, I know, but please hear me out, I have a wonderful message for you but why don’t you ever listen? Why do you still treat me like a little kid who doesn’t know how to tie her shoes? I’m almost 20 now, and I have opinions and thoughts. Please don’t stifle me into silent submission.

Lord, give me a courageous heart so that I may serve you more faithfully.

2009 New Year Resolutions:
1. Be more independent
2. Laugh more
3. Learn to play guitar
4. Be a better tour guide, lol
5. Drive somewhere far away with Joline

Brief Recap of 2008 Memorables
Voted in a presidential election
Directed Freshman Orientation
Relaxed in a hot spring
Climbed Half Dome
Went to a frat party, haha
Among other things…

2009 is looking fine.

meme

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
1. Turn on your iPod, mp3 player, whatever
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

OPENING CREDITS:
The New Girl in Town – Hairspray
OH YAH! Lool 8D

WAKING UP:
Only Hope – Mandy Moore
Such a sudden change of mood from the opening. Maybe my life-movie will be one of those coming of age stories XD

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL:
She’s Out of My Life – Michael Jackson
OHHH NOOO! I’M A LESBIAN!!! T^T

FALLING IN LOVE:
Boston – Augustana
Interesting XD I guess I would be a very apathetic and restless lover XD

FIGHT SONG:
Drunk and Hot Girls – Kanye West ft. Mos Def
Yikes…

BREAKING UP:
Mr. Curiosity – Jason Mraz
HOW SAD T_T and fitting

PROM:
Home – Michael Buble
AAAW, I can just imagine it now *0* Too bad my high school didn’t have prom haha

LIFE:
Stand By Me – Temptations
DAAARRLLING DAAAARLING STAAND BY MEEE!!! Oh yah

MENTAL BREAKDOWN:
Prodigal – Casting Crowns
Wow, this is pretty fitting. o0o

DRIVING:
We’re A Miracle- Christina Aguilera
Lol, it’s a miracle we all live when I am driving.
FLASHBACK:
Hosanna – Hillsong United
I’ll see Jesus in my flashback, COOL! o0o

WEDDING:
Many Moons – Janelle Monae
“Your freedom is in a bind” LOOOL XD

BIRTH OF CHILD:
Phenomenon – Thousand Foot Krutch
YAAAY MY BABY IS A PHENOMENON!! WOOO!

FINAL BATTLE:
Ain’t No Mountain High Enough – Marvin Gaye
BABY, AINT NO MOUNTAIN HIGH ENOUGH AINT NO VALLEY LOW ENOUGH AINT NO RIVER WIDE ENOUGH TO KEEP ME FROM GETTING TO YOU!!! What type of battle is this? THE FINAL BATTLE OF LOVE!!!

DEATH SCENE:
I’m Coming Freestyle – Lupe Fiasco
“Mama raised a trooper!” Darn straight 8D

FUNERAL SONG:
Move Along – All-American Rejects
LOL T_T I guess…this song is good.

END CREDITS:
Lullaby – Mandah
Rofl, a song about Jigglypuff will wrap up my life. XD After I die, I SHALL HAUNT YOU ALL WITH MY LULLABY!!! Haha

Joline, you got to do this too rofl

mother’s day

It is good to come home, knowing that this place is a refuge from all my frustrations at school. It’s like I stepped out of another dimension with my own subtle knife. But I need to seal up this opening and seek closure. Lord, I am weary but you give me strength to not grow faint. Give me compassion, understanding, and patience. Amen.

Mother’s Day is this Sunday and I am blessed with such a beautiful, kind, intelligent, and wonderful mother.

I miss you Joline, Jasmine, Vivian, Kristen, Nancy…

–>Edit

Oh dude, looking at old photoshopped photos of Vivian brings a smile to my face. Loooool!